“Random Autographed Copies”


^^ click on that link ^^

The above is like a little box of awesome for a Billy Joel fan.  But at $200, I can’t quite justify its purchase: I already have the 14 classic albums it touts, and can name them for you in order if you need me to.  The bonus disc of extra material, I fear, may be material already covered in the My Lives boxed set from six years ago or material I’ve… uh… “obtained” through other means.

But still, it’s like a little box of awesome.  Who wouldn’t want a little box of awesome?  And it’ll be signed!

Wait.  Will it be signed?  Let’s go through the bulletpoints:

– 14 classic albums remastered PLUS a bonus disc with 17 rare and non-album recordings

Good, good.  I mean, I’ve got almost all of that already, but good.

– 2 lavish 60-page booklets

Lavish.  Well, that sounds promising.  Tell me more.

– Complete printed lyrics to every Billy Joel composition

Well, nowadays we got the internets for that, plus I already know most of the lyrics, plus I’ve got three giant books of Billy Joel sheet music, but I’d like to see the lyrics that go to the “Fantasies and Delusions” disc anyway.

– Dozens of photos, many rare, from throughout the decades

Photos are nice.  Hopefully they’re decently-sized in the final printing.  Maybe they took a few pages from those lavish booklets.  Are they going to be lavish photos?  I’d totally go for some lavish photos.

– Insightful new interview with Billy by longtime Boston Globe music writer Steve Morse

Well okay, so long as it’s insightful.

– All albums in replica cardboard jackets and sleeves reproducing original LP artwork

Okay, this one actually kinda speaks to me, as I’ve lost track of *all* my CD cases since transferring my CDs to folders.  Would be nice to have all the jackets together.

– Elegant display case

At $200, it better be really damn elegant.

– Specially priced for a LIMITED TIME ONLY

Hey, I’d better get it now before it goes up to $250!

– You may receive one of the random Billy autographed copies, if you order between now and December 31, 2011

What?!?  What the hell does that mean?  “Random” autographed copies?  Did he autograph two in a run of 1,000?  Or did he autograph 90 in a run of 100?  What are my odds?  If I buy two with the goal of selling one on eBay, will my odds be significantly better?  Or is this just a huge exercise in playing cat-and-mouse with the fans?

Random autographed copy.  What are you, Willy Wonka?  Billy Jonka?  If I buy one of these boxed sets, and if it is autographed, I swear I will go to Long Island and expect a tour of a magical music studio where people who don’t follow the rules get killed and then taunted by orange midgets.

 (P.S., anyone wanna give me $200?)

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One Response to “Random Autographed Copies”

  1. Ryah says:

    You forgot to mention that somebody got you a really awesome autograph on a really awesome photo when she was in 6th grade….. You don’t need a really awesome random autographed copy. You gots one!

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