Liveblogging the Lonliest Party Ever

On February 1st, 2012, the author of this blog decided that, finally, he was going to run a Toy Story marathon, watching the whole trilogy at once.  He decided he was going to do this on the evening of February 2nd.  Which, he admits, is a little short-sighted.

He invited many of his friends, but none of them came.  And so he decided to watch the movies anyway, all on his own.

If you haven’t seen all three movies, there will be spoilers.  Also, you’re a horrible person.  Go see them.  You know someone who’s got all three on DVD.

***

6:00 – Party is supposed to start, nobody’s here.

6:10 – Screw it, I’m making popcorn and setting up the first movie.

6:15 – Popcorn’s done, and the phone’s ringing.  Maybe that’s a guest who got lost?

6:25 – false alarm, it was my father.

6:26 – okay, got popcorn, pressing play on Toy Story.

6:28 – Tom Hanks speaks his first line, a muffled “you’re my favorite deputy,” and then Randy Newman starts singing.  Gee, I sure wish I had a friend in someone.

6:29 – Did I just read “screenplay by Joss Whedon?”  Didn’t know that.

6:33 – Huh, and Potato Head has a lot more subtle, adult humor than I remember.

6:36 – First sighting of the Luxo Jr. ball!

6:38 – Second sighting of the Luxo Jr. ball!

6:39 – “Buzz Lightyear to Star Command.  Come in, Star Command.”

6:43 – Third sighting of Luxo Jr. ball!

6:45 – Newman again: “Strange Things are Happening to Me.”

6:52 – Hey, I think that’s Luxo Sr.

6:57 – Buzz throws up the “Live Long and Prosper” hand… AND THERE’S THE PIZZA PLANET TRUCK!

6:58 – It says “YO” on the back.  Guess the “TO__TA” fell off.

7:01 – “The CLAAAAAAAW.”  There’s a “Liar, Liar” joke in here somewhere, but I’m not thinking of it.

7:07 – Pause.  Phone again.

7:11 – It was my mom, asking about the intricacies of saving a URL.  Unpause.

7:15 – Al’s Toy Barn commercial… FORESHADOWING?

7:16 – “I Will Go Sailing No More.”  I think this is Randy Newman’s final contribution to this film.  Like a bird in the sky, if I believe I can fly… why I’ll fly!

7:24 – Apparently Sid likes a band called “Megadork.”  While I’m sure such a band could be great, I don’t imagine their music would be to Sid’s taste.

7:25 – I don’t think I ever realized precisely how selfish Woody is.  Everything he does and says is, essentially, about him.  “Come here and help me.”  “I can’t do this without you.”  Interesting lines.  And then he gives Buzz the ultimate complement: “You are a cool toy.”  There’s his character development, right in that 60-second scene around the 57-minute mark.  He learns empathy.

7:35 – Hannah (Sid’s little sister) is such a fun character.  Part of me kinda wishes she meets up with Andy in college and they get together.

7:40 – Radio’s playing “Hakuna Matata.”

7:42 – THEY’RE FALLING WITH STYLE!

7:44 – “Wow, a puppy!” (end credits, Toy Story 1)

***

7:49 – Loading up Toy Story 2.  Debating whether or not to order pizza.  It’s just me, I think I’ll manage with what I’ve got in the house.  Not that I’m upset nobody showed up or anything.  Nope.  Not at all.  Everything’s fine.  I’m GLAD nobody came.

7:53 – Huh, nice meld of Star Wars opening and Superman opening.

7:58 – Fourth sighting of the Luxo Jr. ball!

8:00 – “Death by Monkeys.”  Possibly the best way to die.

8:03 – It occurs to me that I’ve only seen this movie twice (originally in theaters, then when it was re-released to theaters again a few years back).  I don’t really know this chapter all that well.

8:08 – Woody was just kidnapped by Newman from Seinfeld!

8:10 – “Lou’s Thigh Burn.”

8:12 – It’s Bullseye!  And Jessie!  And… er… Evil Kelsey Grammar.

8:16 – “To Al’s Toy Barn… AND BEYOND!”

8:19 – How the heck did Pixar make me feel nostalgia for a fictional show within a fictional show?  I wish I could download episodes of Woody’s Roundup.

8:22 – Sarcasm: “I’ll bet his kid Andy is just dying to play with a one-armed cowboy doll.”  You know what, Jessie?  That actually sounds ridiculously cool.  I want one.

8:29 – The guy from the chess short!  He’s gonna fix Woody!

8:32 – Oh no!  He’s painting over Andy’s name on Woody’s foot!

8:34 – Buzz vs. Buzz!  Slightly less compelling than Kramer vs. Kramer.

8:35 – JODI BENSON AS THE VOICE OF BARBIE!

8:39 – “When She Loved Me.”  Pretty sure Randy Newman wrote it, not sure what woman is singing, but I’m pretty sure it’s not Randy Newman.

8:40 – The girl’s started playing with makeup!  Makeup!  The scourge of all existence!

8:41 – Oh wow, I don’t remember Jessie’s abandonment scene being this moving either.  Though it looks like she was last played with in the 1960’s, which means Andy probably wasn’t Woody’s first owner.  Did Woody ever have a Buzz-esque memory reboot?  Was he previously Andy’s dad’s toy?  Where *is* Andy’s dad, anyway… we never see the guy.  Maybe he died tragically, and Woody, more than being a toy, was always a representative father figure for Andy, to comfort him when he misses his real father, with Woody never consciously realizing he holds this deeper meaning.

8:48 – Doorbell.

8:51 – Building guys, asking for building fees.  Back to the movie.

8:54 – It’s great how reality keeps reinforcing the various Buzzes’ delusions.

9:01 – Old 1950’s version of “You’ve Got a Friend in Me.”  I want to learn how to play this song that way.

9:03 – OH NO IT’S ZERG!

9:05 –  “Zerg, you killed my father!” “No, buzz.  I *am* your father!”

9:06 – PIZZA PLANET TRUCK!  (still says “YO” on the back)

9:10 – Yay!  They defeated Stinky Pete!  He’s going to be drawn on by a little girl!

9:13 – Holy crap, how is that tiny little toy horse keeping up with what appears to be a 757 or a large 737.

9:16 – Wow, Andy’s mom is, uh, very “well-rendered” in this movie.

9:17 – A Sinatra-esque version of “You’ve got a Friend.”  Don’t think I can play this one.  I can’t simulate a big band on my own.  (end credits, Toy Story 2)

9:23 – Mrs. Potato Head in the end credit bloopers gives me the clear impression of one Mrs. Chris Gorman.

***

9:25 – Alright, food.  Let’s plan to meet up back here at 10:00.

***

10:00 – Switching disks, refilling my water bottle.

10:02 – Heh, they cut to the chase here: Luxo Jr. ball is in the DVD title screen.

10:06 – Geez, this intro is a lot more meaningful immediately after watching the previous two movies.  So many inside references.

10:10 – Home movies and “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” classic again.  Ominous ending, though.

10:13 – Woody and Buzz are reminding me of Ken Gorman and Lenny Ganz.  But then again they’re reminding me of a lot of duos.

10:17 – Andy chooses Woody.  Buzz was a cool fad, everyone had a Buzz, but Woody was uniquely Andy’s.

10:22 – Amazing how the characters are still believable even when the plot maguffen is a bit more contrived.  Shouldn’t they have learned by now to have faith in Andy?  But they didn’t, and it’s reasonable to believe that they didn’t.

10:25 – Buzz: “These toys might be jealous of new arrivals.”  What?  What re you talking about?  Has something like that happened to you before?

10:27 – And Ken meets Barbie (who, may I remind you, is voiced by Jodi Benson).  Something tells me these two will make a great couple.

10:31 – I’m suddenly wondering what I chose to take with me from Florida.  What’s the oldest thing I kept when I moved to Israel?  I wonder if everything else feels abandoned.

10:35 – Bonnie just took Woody, but where’s his hat?

10:37 – It’s Totoro!

10:48 – Buzz has turned into Evil Buzz again!

10:51 – I like the integration of the “modern” kid’s room from Bonnie’s house into the Toy Story universe, and the throwback to Jessie’s story in Lotso’s story.

10:54 – Wow, that Pizza Planet truck manages to get around.  It’s gotta be 30 years old by now, have several hundred thousand miles on it.  Talk about Toyota tough.

11:00 – This is a different Toy Story movie… They’ve consolidated the main cast so that they could expand the secondary, as opposed to the second movie where they focused on expanding the story’s universe.

11:08 – Buzz: “What?” Rex: “No one can hear you.”  Buzz: “WHAT?”  <<Maybe Buzz is Ken after all.

11:09 – Buzz Lightyear speaks Spanish now!

11:15 – Barbie does a really good “dumb character giving a smart line” gag.  It’s up there with the Tazmanian Devil’s “Why for you…”

11:17 – Everyone’s in the garbage, finally, like they were supposed to be at the beginning before they got sidetracked by all that plot.  And here’s where the movie *really* begins.

11:19 – Green aliens see the claw.  Wonder why they like that thing so much.

11:22 – Lotso is *such* an asshole.

11:24 – Drawn from the flaming pits of hell by… THE CLAW!

11:29 – So close to breaking the fourth wall.  Andy isn’t Andy, Andy is every kid who saw the original Toy Story in theaters, and Bonnie is every niece or nephew that still needs to have their history taught to him or her.

11:32 – “There’s a snake in my boots.”  Is that Woody’s last line?  I think it was his first.  *scroll up*  Nope, it was the Deputy line.

11:34 – The series is about so many different things, but it’s mostly about idyllic suburban childhood, in every form it’s taken since it first appeared in he 1950’s.  It speaks internationally, but it’s quintessentially an American story.

11:39 – And the Gypsy Kings take it home with their version of “You’ve Got a Friend in Me.”

***

11:56 – Just finished going back to fix typos and such.  Time for bed.  Or maybe time for Facebook.  I should do this again some time.  Maybe minus the liveblogging.  Maybe dubbed into Hebrew.  But yeah, should do this again.

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2 Responses to Liveblogging the Lonliest Party Ever

  1. Mary says:

    I believe Sarah MacLachlan performs “When Somebody Loved Me” in Toy Story 2, and the end “You Got a Friend In Me” is Robert Goulet.

    I can play “When Somebody Loved Me” on piano. Woo!

    • fishamaphone says:

      Sarah MacLachlan sounds right, I just couldn’t think of the name at the time. I wonder how they pitched that role to Goulet?

      “Okay, so you’re a penguin.”
      “What?”
      “Oh, not just a regular penguin, you’re a penguin that was broken because he lost his squeaker.”
      “WHAT?”
      “He sings at the end of the movie.”
      “Okay, just tell me who else is in this production?”
      “Uhh… Jodi Benson is involved.”
      “Jodi Benson? Screw it, I’m in.”

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