I Need to Get More Readers

Ho-kay, so how am I going to do this?  Err…

Go-go Gadget Readers!

Did that work?  No?  Hrm.

By the power of WordPress, I have the readers!

Still nothing.  Damn.

Reader.  Reader.  Reader.  Readercats, ho!

Wait, I think that may have even pushed my readership levels negative.  This doesn’t seem to be having the effect I’d generally have liked.  What can I do here?  Maybe the 80’s isn’t the right decade.  Let’s try for some 90’s

Keyboard!  Fingers!  Text!  Monitor!  Heart!  Go readers!  By your powers combined, I am Captain Readership!  Captain Readership, he’s a hero, gonna take illiteracy down to zero.  He’s our powers magnified, and he’s fighting on, uh… he’s fighting on reading my blog’s side?

Okay, clearly that’s not working either.  What if I’m going the wrong direction, chronologically speaking.  Maybe the 80’s weren’t too early, but rather too late.

The secret compartment of my ring I fill with a WordPress super readership pill!

Nope, don’t think that helped at all.  What if cartoons are the wrong medium for this?  If I’m trying to encourage activity in one print medium, maybe I need to use something from another print medium to do so.

In brightest day, in blackest night, no readers shall escape this site.  May those who read from left to right, come to my blog, or maybe not!

Ow, and he doesn’t stick the landing.  That one was looking so promising too.

What should I do?  None of these seem to be working at all.  I’m stumped.

(Write more) 

Huh?  What was that?

Write more.

Do you guys hear that too?  What could it be?

WRITE MORE.

What’s that, Lassie?  Timmy’s stuck in the well?

WRITE MORE!

Oh.  Hey, that’s not a bad idea.  I guess I could do that.

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